Greetings from magical Bali!
Did you know that 72% of entrepreneurs are affected by mental health challenges?
When I first discovered that statistic I was shocked!
I'd be going through my own mental health battle, working with professionals to "spring clean" my mind. Facing some of the most mentally & emotionally challenging days of my life, whilst also starting my own coaching business.
Although I was doing my best to stay positive & tell myself "this is only a stage", through a lot of my journey I felt so alone.
Most days I just wished that there was someone who had experienced what I was going through could hold my hand, look me straight in the eye & tell me that everything was going to be ok... but there wasn't.
I was faced with the grueling task of putting one step in front of the other, trusting that the anxiety, depression, paranoia, hyper tension, PTSD & all the other words used to label the emotional roller coaster I was on, would eventually balance out & "go away".
Hind sight being an amazing thing, I am grateful to every step (even if so very small) of my come back journey, from suicidal rock bottom to bad ass boss lady & preacher of SELF LOVE & BALANCE, because without it I wouldn't of made it my mission to be the person I wish I had when I was at my all time lowest & out there TALKING ABOUT IT!
I wouldn't be here talking to you about it & I certainly wouldn't be the coach I am, empowering women to unconditionally love THEMSELVES before helping others to do the same.
Although most days I now feel "in control", I would be lying if I didn't say I am still "triggered" by the smallest of things. I very rarely see the triggers coming but boy oh boy do I feel them. It's like an avalanche has hit my body, my mind goes into a spin & there's this weird tingly feeling that races hot through my body. I feel like my world has started to cave in & the thoughts alternate between "breatheeeeee" & a power statement grounding me back to earth.
Is this starting to sound at all familiar to you?
An experience like I have just described above used to take me weeks to recover from, these days perhaps a day or so depending on what has caused the feelings to surface in the first place, how quickly I decide to talk about "my feelings", what they mean & decide if I want to re-write that "story" with someone that I trust (sometimes a friend/family member or sometimes a mentor/coach/trained professional) and how disciplined I have been with my own self love plan (aka mental health plan).
So how does this relate to you & why am I bringing it up?
Well, starting & growing your own business is H.A.R.D. A challenge like no other.
One second we can be strutting around like Beyonce, high fiving ourselves & thinking "Oh, I've got this girlfriend". We are going to the gym, journalling, meditating, eating amazing fruits & vegetables.. you know, doing all the things the "gurus" tell us we should be doing to be the master of our own destiny.
Then the next second, in a blink of an eye... it all comes crashing down.
A customer might write an average review, a client may decide their way is better than yours, your dad might call & ask if you have "a real job" yet or anything & everything in between comes & hits you in the face.
Such events leave you questioning if you really do have what it takes, am I really good enough to create a business & lifestyle of my dreams, maybe I should go get that real job...
Then before you know it, tears you didn't feel coming on arrive, you're bawling your eyes out & you immediately think to yourself... "oh shit, I'm back here again" ..OR we are found on Dr. Google asking "what's wrong with me", block of chocolate in one hand, glass of wine in the other & soon we will be back in bed willing to start the day (or even sometimes our lifetimes) over again.
And yes... you guessed it, that WAS the story of my life & the story of many of my clients before they decide to break the pattern & the hold their emotions have over their life AND their business.
So how did I break this pattern & how do my clients do the same?
As I mentioned above.... A SELF LOVE PLAN!
Just like in LIFE we have a calendar to remind ourselves of birthday's, weddings, anniversaries & the like.. & we have a shopping list of what we need to get when we go to the supermarket...
And, just like in our businesses we have that "to do" list to contact our suppliers, schedule our Facebook & Instagram Posts & alll the other hats we wear on a day to day basis..
Why not also have a PLAN on how to SHOW UP & look after ourselves BEFORE we pick up the "Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200" card.
I found, the second that I decided to ask myself "what do I need", instead of "what do I need TO DO for everyone else", my depressed, anxious, sad mind started to CLEAN, spring sprung & I doubted myself less & backed myself MORE!
When I dedicated the time (& actually DID IT) to write 3 things I loved about myself & 3 things I was grateful for & put them into my 'Self Love' jar, EVERY NIGHT, I actually found I started to release more of those happy hormones, I experienced more positive thought patterns through the day & when one of those experiences or examples I wrote above came along, I could calmly hear "I've got this" instead of ABORT on loud speaker, flowing through my head.
When I committed to going to the gym or breaking for an afternoon walk REGARDLESS of if I was feeling "anxious" or "emotionally challenged" & I told myself over & over & over again how much I loved it, my brain started to rewire & I stopped associating negative feelings to the things I loved which then had a positive flow on effect throughout every area of my life.
When I found the time once a month to have that massage, or get that facial, or have some alone time to read I stopped telling myself I should be doing something else, or spending my money on something or someone else... Instead I was grateful for the time, the experience or the treat of putting myself first.. before everyone else BECAUSE I DESERVED IT!
If you are in fact part of the 72% and you get "triggered" by emotion, more often than not find yourself on that "emotionally roller coaster", then please know that you are not alone but it doesn't have to be that way! YOU have the power to turn this around, confidently create authentic relationships AND grow a thriving business.
Regardless of if you experience emotionally or mental health challenges, if you don't have a SELF LOVE plan in place, then let's take 10 minutes this week to put one together. To ensure that your most important & more valuable asset, YOU, is being taken care of FIRST.
So much love to you all,